The topic for this latest offering was inspired by a parent of a young athlete I have the privilege of working with. The parent in question greatly impressed me with how they chose to respond to a recent setback, including her decision to decline my offer to intervene on her daughter’s behalf. We generally think of times of adversity and setbacks as at best something to be endured (under duress). Our natural inclination is to steer clear of difficulties, and our urge is to shield those we care about from potential upset. However, as the parent in question intuitively understood, going through these difficult experiences is in fact vital to our mission.
STRESS TESTING…
As the saying goes, there is no success without struggle. One of the implications is that we will inevitably encounter obstacles and experience setbacks on our journey. However another equally important point that is often missed is that the struggle itself is a fundamental part of what ultimately leads to us becoming successful in our quest.
Tempering is a process that brings out the intrinsic toughness of a material. Exposure to tough conditions allows us to express our intrinsic strength, and become more durable as a result of the experience. Stress is thus necessary. A stressor is simply the stimulus that triggers us to adapt and increase our capacities to cope with future challenges.
A key concept is that resilience is a property that emerges over time with exposure to the right conditions. This applies whether we are talking in terms of physical or mental strength. We should bear this in mind as we encounter challenging times and experience setbacks.
CHALLENGE BRINGS CLARITY…
Periods of difficulty are when we really find out about ourselves. It is during times of hardship that we also discover the reserves that we have within us.
Without exposure to challenge we have no idea of our present limits and what we might be able to handle. Similarly, the depth of our will to succeed is revealed to us only when we are tested.
Our intrinsic motivation gives us direction and provides the fuel for journey. However, as with purpose, we can easily lose sight of why we chose to pursue whatever our quest happens to be. When the going is easy and things are a bit too comfortable it is hard to truly appreciate things. Often it is only when we face difficulty or suffer disappointment that we reconnect to what it means to us and why it is important.
DIFFICULTY IS DESIRABLE…
It takes being tested for us to stretch our limits. It is under challenge that we express our full capabilities. Going through difficult times arms us with new knowledge of what we are capable of, and the reserves that we can draw upon.
Following this logic we get the concept of desirable difficulty. What this recognises is that being confronted with obstacles is what prompts us to show what we are capable of. We need to experience challenge and disappointment. Struggling through problems is how we learn. These trials ultimately provide the means to realise our full potential.
“If you find a path with no obstacles it probably doesn’t lead anywhere”
Conversely, advantages can paradoxically be a burden if our aim is to strive to become the best we can be. As a coach recently remarked to me, ironically one of the problems he faces with the kids in his programme is that their lives beyond the sport are free from significant hardships. This seems like a nice problem to have; however, if our path has been too easy then we are unproven and may be ill prepared for what is to come. Happily, through sport we can seek out and be exposed to challenge, difficulty, and disappointment!
THE POWER OF PERSPECTIVE…
An athlete I worked with in the early part of my career had a perspective on coming back from injuries that was quite extraordinary. I was working in professional rugby union at the time, and injuries are not uncommon for professional rugby players given that it is a sport that involves high impact bodily contact with other large humans. What was uncommon was this particular player had a phenomenal attitude when faced with periods on the sidelines due to injury. Kieron not only quickly overcame any disappointment at the setback he had suffered, but also then adopted the perspective of relishing the opportunity it presented to come back fitter, faster, and stronger. This made a huge impression on me at the time, and it has stayed with me. As an aside, this attitude clearly served Kieron well. Despite suffering significant injuries along the way he nevertheless had a long and distinguished playing career, finally retiring in 2009 after 13 seasons playing at the highest level.
A problem is an exercise. It is a puzzle to figure out and come up with a solution. Navigating problems is how we learn. An obstacle can be viewed a stepping stone that allows us to progress towards where we desire to go. Realising the value enables us to alter our perspective. We can appraise difficulties in terms of the challenge and opportunity they represent, rather than a hardship we just have to suffer through. Adopting this perspective shifts how we anticipate and engage with the trials we face, and we take more from the experience as a consequence.
PREPARED…
As we noted, coming through trials and testing conditions is how we develop resilience. Equally, having done so, our task is not done. Remaining resilient to some extent follows the principle ‘use it or lose it’. If we are deprived of shocks or stressors then over time we become more fragile and less equipped to cope. It follows we need to continually challenge ourselves.
It follows we should embrace challenges and obstacles as we encounter them. Perhaps we should even seek out these challenges. Echoing the thoughts of the coach I mentioned earlier, some authors have suggested that in order to develop high performers we might need to seek to place obstacles in the way of the athlete if things are getting too easy!
One things that is clear is that we should certainly not fear or seek to avoid setbacks. Rather than feeling aggrieved and looking for a way out when we experience difficulty, performers should rather recognise the gift that they have been presented with. By adopting this perspective we can more fully leverage the opportunity afforded by these events and experiences.
This post was originally shared via our sister project Prepared Athlete Training & Health. Sign up to receive Prepared Blog updates direct to your inbox. Feel free to share with those in your network who might find value.
